Bad Mojo
by FatedtoFall
Summary: It's always a good idea to be polite to Mysterious Old Woman met on the side of the road. Body Switching. Buyo. Mayhem. Dancing in the Dainties. [Rated for Inu's Mouth and Future Mind]
1. A Chance Meeting

A/N: Squee. My second InuYasha fanfic. PH33R M3! Right. Whatever. This is Bad Mojo, a humorous tale of Seduction, Mysterious Old Woman and learning to finally be polite.

My first Multiple Chaptered Story, I'm not sure how long its actually going to be. A few Chaps, neh.

And just so we all realize this, Buyo rules.

Beta-ed by Ammeh, without whom every otherword would be capitalized and is rather good for bouncing deas off of. Go read her Stuff. It amuses the stuffing outta me. Lookie in my Fav. Authors section.

Disclaimer: I dun own InuYasha. If I did, I would lock myself in a room with Sesshoumaru and do unspeakable things with.

...That came out dirtier than I meant it to. XD

* * *

There are some very simple things in life that men, as a rule, need to learn from an early age in order to function in society without looking like an inept moron. They include, but are not limited to, Do not leave the toilet seat up, which is perhaps one of the most important, as no girl wants to touch the seat where countless people's arses have rested. Another is to always answer no to the question, 'does this make me look fat?' If a male were to be particularly clever, (which while doubtful, is theoretically possible), he might add on a compliment to the effect of calling said female beautiful, or at the very least pretty. Avoid saying fine, as this is a generic comment and could indeed go either way, and will make the target female worried and cause her great emotional distress. A third rule is that the female is, indeed, always right. Regardless of ones personal feelings towards the manner, or if the female is indeed correct, she is right. This particular concept is difficult for many males to grasp, and as a result, is often left out of the normal curriculum. Another rule is that the chocolate must not be questioned. It is always needed and one must not question the wisdom of the chocolate.

But perhaps the most important of all rules, one that all males must realize if they are to have any hope of surviving beyond their 15th birthday, is that one must always treat Mysterious old woman encountered on the side of the road with courtesy and generosity. This rule is generally applied to all beings, regardless of gender, but as females generally possess the common sense whereas a male might not, it is generally considered a rule for a male person. The reason for this rule is one does not know when, in fact, the mysterious old woman is in fact some mysterious, mystical being in disguise, capable of placing all manner of curses, hexes and general, all around bad mojo upon one's person.

Unfortunately, no one told InuYasha this.

One really can't blame InuYasha for this. After all, one must take into account that the rules previously set forth are perhaps modern compared to the time period into which InuYasha was born. One must also take into account his own past, losing his father very young, his mother when he was not much older, and his brother held him in something that could only very loosely be defined as contempt. Hatred, loathing, sheer enmity, came closer than mere contempt to define the feelings between InuYasha and his brother. Half brother, were you to mention one in hearing of the other.

So, having little to anything that resembled guidance in his early years, InuYasha was forced to run, hide, and essentially perform the act of _not dying_. Demons and Humans alike would try to kill him, simply because his parents couldn't keep it in the pants, or hakama as might be the case, regardless if he had done anything to provoke such attacks or not. He was half blood, simple as that, and so he should die. It was prejudice at its best, or its worst, given one's viewpoint.

Also, its unlikely that InuYasha even knew what a toilet was and therefore would not understand the Taboo of leaving the seat up.

One might also think that InuYasha would perhaps, somehow be excused from the 'Insulting of the Odd Old Woman', due to his continued ignorance, along with his tough childhood leaving him to be rather untrusting and dare you say, rude? After all, he was not exposed to the plethora of fairy tales that a modern day male was exposed to, what with Disney and Brothers Grimm and similar things. He didn't know of those things which our modern day sensibilities would call common sense, such as not accepting the apple offered by the old woman, that the old woman you met in the woods with your sibling who lives in the candy house is bent on fattening up and eating you, that the old woman in the bed is not actually grandma, and most importantly of all to not insult and refuse the mysterious old woman who seeks a favor from you. These things which, while all involving old woman, also give one clues on how to live one's life to the fullest, and safely allow one to move past their 15th birthday.

So one might put some stock in ignorance, allow some forgiveness to take way. But none-the-less, common courtesy can go a long way and count for quite a lot.

* * *

Kagome had not been having a good day. InuYasha, in all his… idiotic glory, had been an ass to her for most of the day. It seemed the Half-demon was just asking to be sat to within an inch of his life. She, rapidly approaching her breaking point, would be rather happy to oblige his seemingly masochistic desire. Sometimes, she had to admit, even if she loved the idiot, he could be rather… Unbearable? Asinine? Irritating? Just plain dumb? Stop her when she was got something that fit, she had been working up to this all day 

Heaving a sigh, she looked around quick before hoping from her perch on the well's wall, heaving her monstrous yellow bag over with her. The thing appeared almost like a giant corpulent… Well, something, because what could one compare a giant yellow bag to convey the proper imagery? There isn't much one could say beyond a canary with a glandular problem.

Sighing and swinging it over her shoulder, she lamented the fact that InuYasha wasn't at her side to carry it as he usually did. He had come about 4 hours too early, trying to drag her (Against her will) back to the feudal era, intent on resuming their search for Jewel Shards and Naraku. And thus, arguments ensued, resulting in the irate half-demon storming away and through the well, like some spoiled child who hadn't gotten what he wanted. And _she_ was the one who didn't have her priorities straight. Sometimes, she really didn't understand him.

It always, invariably, ended up something like this, her trying to lug her monstrous, heavy bag towards Kaede's home where she would rejoin her companions. In her head she ticked off a list of things she had brought specifically for each person. InuYasha had Ramen of course, though she had half been tempted to _accidentally_ leave that on the counter where her mother had helpfully left it for her, ready to pack, but then she would have to deal with his whining and sulking and really, she just couldn't take much more of the Half-Demon's childish antics. Shippou, she had chocolate. All she had to do was keep him from eating it all at once and getting a stomach ache. For Kirara she had a cat toy. She'd brought the fire-cat one before and it hadn't lasted long before being destroyed, but she was certain the feline would enjoy it in her smaller form. For Sango, she had soap, a nice scent she thought the Demon-Slayer would enjoy. And for Miroku… Well, she had been tempted to bring a roll of duct tape, but that was definitely more for her than for him unless he had somehow developed a fetish for being bound in tape and having his hair ripped out, which is a disturbing thought. No, for him she had brought one of those irritating brain teasers, one of those games made of twisted nails or horse shoes that one had to get apart. That one she had gotten more on a whim than anything else, and she thought the Monk might enjoy it. Plus it might distract his hands a little, give her and Sango a reprieve from his… Attentions. She had yet to figure the damned thing out, which frustrated her no end.

Lost in her thoughts, Kagome carefully picked her way through the forest, a way she knew well, having walked it more times than she cared to count. She knew each tree, each blade of grass, each rock and bug and sapling. Or, so she liked to tell herself. This seeming in-tuneness with the forest, she felt, gave her an edge that she thought helped her notice when something had changed. Take now for example, the birds had stopped chirping, the animals stopped rustling and it was deathly quiet, unnaturally so.

Wait, what? Pausing in her trek, Kagome glanced around worriedly, searching for anything that might be out of the ordinary. She didn't see or sense anything, but that didn't mean there wasn't anything there, as she knew all too well. Suppressing the shiver of fear that wanted to travel along her spine, Kagome opened herself, straining her ears to hear something, _anything_, ordinary or not. Why, _oh why_, had she had to fight with InuYasha? She could have just let it go, cut short her time with her family cut short _again_, and come back here and be lost in the unnatural silence with her nice, big, strong, scary-but-never-to-her Half-Demon nearby. Nothing much would bother her with him nearby.

Knowing it was futile to think on that, Kagome finally started moving again, peering around fearfully as if she expected something to jump out and scare her. Her pace, leisurely and somewhat time wasting before, was now clipped, hurried and tense. Fighting down the stirrings of panic that wanted to possess her, she kept going, hoping, praying that something, nothing, anything wouldn't jump out at her. Of course, when something finally did move, she nearly had a coronary right then and there.

"Excuse me, young Lady?" Came the voice, somewhere in the vicinity of behind her. Of course, Kagome, being tuned to everything and nearly ready to drop her bag and go running away as fast as she could, back to home or to Kaede's, whichever her panicked mind decided was closer (She was opting for InuYasha at the moment, no matter how much she might want her mommy), nearly passed out. She screamed, jumping and whirling around, hands up and ready to defend herself against her assailant who was… _An old woman? _Just as her mind registered this, Kagome went tumbling down in a heap, forgetting in her fright the insanely large and heavy bag she had swung over her shoulders. So, down she went with a second cry, pained now, her bag pressing her to the ground.

"Oh, dear… Are you alright, Miss?" Came that voice again, the old woman's voice, concern laced into the words.

"Ungh…" Kagome replied brilliantly.

"What was that, I didn't quite catch it…" Came the Old Woman's voice again.

"Ahh, I'm… I'm sorry, you surprised me is all!" Kagome finally replied, trying, mostly in vain, to worm her way out from beneath her bag.

"Oh, dear, I should apologize. I hadn't meant to startle you…" Said the Old Woman.

"Oh, no! It's fine, I was just… Just going home is all. And I'm fine, perfectly all right." She said, still trying to roll over, get away from the bag, do something.

"Let me help you, Dear. That bag looks heavy…" Said the Old Woman (As Kagome now termed her in her head), as Kagome heard footsteps from her position prone beneath the bag, and then felt, like a boulder lifted by some gods given miracle, the bag elevate. She didn't even give herself time to wonder how on Earth the woman had lifted the heavy bag, before she was up, trying to even her breathing out, adrenaline still pumping, as she turned to study her assailant/rescuer. Her gaze was met by shrewd brown eyes, and a face that looked like leather. The woman wasn't much taller than Kagome, and she wore a light traveling yukata. Her feet were bare and mud stained, as if she had been traveling for a long while.

"…sorry, dear, that I startled you. Didn't mean it at all, I just was wondering if I could ask you something." With a start, Kagome realized the Old Woman had been talking and saying something, and she too caught up in studying and regulating her breathing to notice. Oh, she was doing wonderful in the first impressions category, no doubt. Fleetingly, she thought of her first impression of InuYasha, Savior then attempting murderer (That wasn't what she was supposed to be thinking of right now, but Kagome knew from experience it was hard to banish the Half-demon far from her thoughts ever).

Realizing she probably looked the part of a village idiot escaped from her attic where she was locked up and fed fish heads, Kagome finally kicked herself mentally and replied to the woman.

"Ahh, it's ok, completely alright! And you say you wanted to ask something?" She finally managed to get out.

"Yes, dear… I was wondering if you might spare a bit of food or something, as I have been traveling for a long time and haven't eaten for quite a while." Said the Old Woman.

Now, Kagome _had_ grown up with the plethora of fairy tales and Disney movies, and so she knew that it wasn't wise to offend mysterious old woman. Granted that normally those mysterious old woman didn't look quite so… tough, and more like one would expect grandma to look on a Sunday with hair curlers and one of those odd MooMoo-robe type things, but the sentiment was generally the same. Of course, this was far from her mind at the moment, but Kagome was safe from retribution seeing as she was generally a kindhearted person (A certain red-wearing, Tetsuiga wielding, Dog eared Half-Demon, just so there's not any doubt, might beg to differ) and thus she was able to act in a way that preserved her life as she knew it beyond her 15th birthday. Of course, she was 15, almost 16, but that was really not the point.

The point was, Kagome had no compunctions about giving Old Woman some of her food. Which she demonstrated when she moved to her bags side, with an exclamation of 'Of course!' and dug into the monstrous yellow thing in search of one of the meals her mother had packed her in a cooler, that she might eat later on. Pulling out the smaller bag with an exclamation of triumph, she turned with a smile to the Old Woman, in her hands a complete meal, wrapped in saran wrap and with a cute little note from her mother on the top. Snatching the note and offering the lunch, Kagome smiled brightly, trying discreetly to not rub her ankle which hurt like the dickens.

The old woman smiled at her, a kind smile which softened her browned face and lessened the shrewdness of her eyes. She looked genuinely happy, and she took the proffered meal, only quirking a brow at the wrap which to her was quite odd. Kagome, being from a modern day was used to saran wrap, but Japanese people 500 years in the past were certainly not, but Kagome wasn't too bothered by the woman's lack of reaction to what InuYasha had once termed as Flexi-able glass. Kagome had often given pause to wonder how, exactly, InuYasha knew a term like flexible, even with his atrocious pronunciation, but she was side tracking herself as usual. Remembering to grab the plastic once it was removed, since it wouldn't do for some random archeologist to find a 500 year old piece of saran wrap, Kagome kept her smile on her face.

"Ahh, thank you Dear. It is nice to see such kindness in today's youth!" Ignoring the fact that the old woman's comment was something much more suited to her own time period, Kagome continued to smile brightly. As the woman finished up, she looked at the young girl and gave a small smile, a mysterious one.

"Well, Dear, I do thank you again. That was rather tasty." The Old Woman said an odd look in her eyes.

"Since you've shown kindness to an old woman my dear, I'll give you a gift. Should you ever need a favor or some help, simply call my name aloud 3 times and I will come and help you with whatever you need." Her voices tone had dropped, a certain quality to her suddenly husky tones that had Kagome resisting the urge to shudder. The Woman was odd, and suddenly Kagome felt a certain fright that perhaps the old woman was in fact a demon, regardless if she could sense nothing in her aura to suggest such. What she did feel was a mysterious quality, almost like encountering another priestess or something, but far, far different. Nothing malicious hung about the woman, just mysteries like a cloak of shadows.

So lost in her musing on the woman's change of voice, it took Kagome a moment to realize what exactly had been said. Now Kagome, while slightly naïve and rather quick to trust, was also smart to recognize a complete loon when she saw one. And the Old Woman rather fit the bill to that particular train of thought. So after a brief moment of simply staring blankly at the old woman, Kagome broke into a bright smile, so wide that it almost made her face hurt. Her survival instincts were kicking in, demanding that she move _away_ from the crazy person, because she was already late, and had enough on her plate as it was, and insane charity cases were simply _too much_ for her to handle. Politeness be damned, she was getting out of here and the Old Woman's mysterious aura was actually her insanity, and let the lady live in peace and think that she could grant wishes or whatever.

Turning, she bent and lifted her hefty sunshine coloured bag and began that arduous process known as _saying goodbye. _Opening her mouth and deciding to humor the strange, creepy, crazy lady, Kagome spoke.

"Well, Very nice to meet you, errr… Ma'am! I must be on my way, my friends are waiting for me! Ahh… Bye!"

Then turning, knowing that already she was late, Kagome began to quickly pace away, missing the bemused expression that crossed the Old Woman's face. As she paced away, her walk maybe faster than necessary, Kagome heard the woman's voice one more time.

"My name is Jeniru, Kagome!"

Kagome froze suddenly to the spot, turning around as quickly as safely possible, lest her bag topple her once again, glancing back to where the Old Woman had stood and found her not there. Thoroughly freaked, Kagome looked around wildly, trying to spot the old woman. Surely she couldn't have gotten away that fast! And how in the world did she know her name? Kagome hadn't told her name! She distinctly remembered not telling the Old Woman her name! Looking around fearfully and not seeing the woman anywhere, Kagome finally gave up and turned once again towards Kaede's village and her companions. And maybe she walked faster than she might need to, but who could blame her, what with crazy old ladies thinking themselves a _Fairy Godmother_ or something else insane like that and silent forests where nothing made any noise and there were no birds and… and… and _screw this_!

Trying most unsuccessfully to stifle a whimper, Kagome's gait increased in speed, as much is allowed when one is balancing an oversized and heavy bag atop their back. Even if she was huffing and puffing by the time she got back, there was no way in _hell_ she was staying around where the creepy crazy lady was. Even if she wasn't a demon or anything, she still could be something scarier, like an axe murderer serial killer type person, biding her time until she found someone worth skinning and making a nice Kagome Suit out of. Kagome didn't let herself wonder when serial killer became scarier than blood thirsty demon. She just wanted her InuYasha.

* * *

End A/N: Ha. Review please? I'm not gonna be lame and demand reviews before updating, but I still like to hear from people. If'n ya don't, it don't matter much, as I don't a flying flip what people think of me. Squee. 


	2. The One You Hurt Most

**A/N:** Mer... I hate this chapter, I really do. I didn't mean to take so long in getting it out, I just did, for reasons that are one of the following:

A) I'm lazy.  
B) My brain was eaten by brain eating mutant bunnies  
C) I married a computer eating monster.

Answers: If you picked A, you're right! You get a prize! This chapter! If you picked B, then, ok, it's partially true, as there were bunnies involved. C, then, I just... really don't know what to say. Really.

Ammeh beta-ed it. Yay for her! -snugs- Without her, there would be plot-holes and odd language and odd-ness galore abounding since I have my own twisted sense of grammer that doesn't always involve the traditional one.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. -insert something witty here entailing what I would do if I did own it-

* * *

InuYasha knew he would be pushing it if he went earlier than he was supposed to go and get Kagome back from her time. 4 hours, 13 Minutes and 35… 34… 33 seconds early, to be exact. Not that he was counting or anything. It wasn't his fault the damn girl had to run off to home and 'Skool' every week to take those stupid tests or whatever the hell they were. She wasn't supposed to go back, she was supposed to stay nice and safe where he could keep an eye on her. He had to make sure nothing tried to eat, possess, molest (Stupid Wolf), kidnap, or just generally harm Kagome, because really, he didn't think he could take it if the girl got hurt badly.

….Not that he liked her or anything. No, he hated the fucking wench, what with her whining and her always 'Sitting' him and shit. She was such a nag and so what if she smelled good, that was hardly a redeeming quality. Kagome, to him, was a pain in the ass, sometimes literally (like that one time with the frickin' beaver demon, something he _really_ preferred to pretend never happened), and a helluva lot more trouble than she was worth. She was a shard detector, a blood hound (He really hated dog metaphors), and nothing else. _Nothing._

Which really explained why he was currently pacing back and forth in front of the well, ignoring the half amused, half irritated gazes of his companions as well as their occasional commentary.

"He seems more irritable than usual, doesn't he?" remarked Sango, eyes following the half-demon as he paced at the wells edge.

"Aww, he's just being dumb 'cause Kagome's not here. Moron can't stand it when she's not around." Shippou replied, not looking up from drawing, crayons clutched in his nimble clawed hands. The picture resembled something red with a rather large head and angry face.

"Ahh, yes. The absence of the fair Kagome does weigh heavily at one's heart. But, take solace in that soon she shall return and once again will her beauty, her shapely figure, her succulent brea-" Miroku cut off abruptly, stopping as Sango's fist came down on his head. Sango didn't even have to say anything, glowering at the monk, before turning back to InuYasha.

Sango fought back a grimace as she watched InuYasha, who had grown stiff and increasingly angry at Miroku's words. It was only a matter of time before the half-demon snap-

"Shut it, Monk! I don't want to listen to your shit, so shut up before I hurt you."

Shippou opened his mouth to make a reply, something that would no doubt be snarky and end up with the half-demon chasing the kit around in a fit of rage, but he was forestalled by Sango putting a finger to her lips and shushing him. He tipped his head to one side, obviously confused, before he looked at InuYasha again. The dog-eared boy stood at the well's edge now, ears pinned flat to his skull and an odd look on his face. All three remained silent as he glanced back at them, gave a half-hearted 'Keh', and jumped through the time slip.

Casting her gaze towards Miroku, Sango noticed he looked unusually pleased with himself, despite the bump that was growing on his head. All because, as wonders never cease, his idea had worked. She almost felt bad in convincing InuYasha to go and get Kagome early, but he was being worse than usual. The already prickly half demon had been simply unbearable, which while not an… Uncommon occurrence, was none the less stressful. And annoying. And if Kagome had to suffer his attentions earlier than she expected, well, that was a sacrifice Sango was willing to make for a few moments respite from his surly countenance.

InuYasha emerged on the other side of the well, the scent of the modern world filling his nose. Gods, he hated it here. The scents of this time drove him nuts, made him want to sneeze. Not that InuYasha would ever admit to such a thing, a human weakness like sneezing. Some might say his sense of weakness was a spot warped if **sneezing** was perceived as a weakness, but think with whom it was in context with (coughaguycough).

Exiting the well house, InuYasha cast his gaze surreptitiously about the yard, searching for any sign that his arrival had somehow attracted notice. Seeing nothing, the half demon moved forward, intent on reaching the house, grabbing the girl, and returning to his own time. Upon reaching the house, he used the door, not bothering to knock. In a back part of his mind, he wondered if Kagome would be impressed by his use of the door, instead of usual route, via window.

Glancing around, the half-demon's ears swiveled about, taking in the noise of the house and using to locate where its occupants were. Mrs. Higurashi was in a back room, the steady hum of some mash-een filling the air. He vaguely recalled Kagome calling it a washer and dryer. The old fart (bugger didn't warrant capitalization) was snoring and the definite scent of sake hung in the air as well. And Kagome… She was playing vid-eee-oh games with her brother, though the occasional thump and a giggle told him the playing wasn't the only thing they were doing.

Moving quickly, the half demon stepped into the room to be greeted with an interesting sight. Kagome lay sprawled across her brother, hands digging into the younger boys sides, who tried (mostly in vain) to squirm away from his sister, his cries of 'Stop!' filling the room. Their game lay paused off to the side.

Blinking for a moment, the Half-demon watched, half in amusement, half in curiosity as the two siblings wrestled, before he grew impatient. Not a very long wait, to be sure. Stooping down near the still wrestling pair, the half-demon reached a clawed hand out to grasp the combatants' shoulders. Blinking, the two pulled back from each other, casting curious gazes towards their interrupter. Upon seeing who it was, Kagome blushed and sat up quickly, knocking Souta's arms out from under him so her younger sibling remained sprawled, her hand pushing his face into the ground.

"InuYasha! What're you doing here?" Kagome exclaimed, still embarrassed at having been caught fighting with her sibling.

Being that InuYasha had all the tact of a sledge hammer wielded by a one armed three year old, the ensuing argument was no doubt unavoidable.

"What the hell do you think I'm here for, Wench? To bring you back of course."

"What? But… I still have like…" She paused to glance at a clock on the wall. Souta gave a muffled grunt from beneath her. "4 hours! You promised that I had until 5 o'clock!" She protested.

InuYasha grunted, his ears laying flat against his head as he stared down at her. Souta gave another grunt, trying in vain to dislodge his sister's weight from atop him.

"Well, damnit, I changed my mind. Come on!" He growled. As Kagome's eyes narrowed in return, InuYasha found himself cursing in his head. He knew that look. Knew it all too well. It meant he was about to eat carpet.(1) Bracing himself for what he knew was coming, InuYasha barely managed to restrain a long suffering sigh.

"InuYasha! Sit!" And down he went with a crash, Souta watching with wide eyes as the half-demon was compelled to the ground. Grumbling under his breath, InuYasha awaited the moment when he would be allowed to move. He knew this had been a bad idea from the start, but of course, he had allowed himself to be goaded into going to get Kagome early. Which he had known from the start would end _just. Like. This._

"God-damned-sonofabitch!" The half-demon snarled from the ground, the spell weakening enough for him to lift his head from the ground at last. Meeting Kagome's eyes, he nearly wilted under the glare she leveled his way. Souta just grunted, having his face still mashed to the floor.

"I'm not coming back yet, InuYasha! You can't make me, and if you try, I swear that if you do, I'll sit you again."

"Wench, you're coming--"

"Sit!" Another crash ensued, and InuYasha groaned from his prone position on the floor. Damn, that hurt.

"Damnit! Knock it off!" InuYasha growled, finally lifting his head, ready to give Kagome a piece of his mind, only to find her walking away. Souta blinked at him for a moment, before getting up and scrambling after his sister. Blinking slightly as the two departed, leaving him still prostrate on the floor, InuYasha let his head fall with a grunt.

"Fine! You can carry all your shit back yourself!" He yelled after the girl, the effect only slightly muffled by the floor. Kagome only waved a hand over her shoulder as she disappeared into the kitchen. With his parting shot delivered (pathetic as it was), InuYasha finally climbed to his feet, looking disgustedly around him. Figuring it useless, the half-demon left the house, and hopped back down the well, fuming.

Four hours later, he was sitting in the Go-Shinboku, fuming and wondering why the hell he did this to himself. Oh sure, he knew part of it was lack of any social graces what so ever, being that most of his life was spent being hated and loathed for what he was. Another part of him felt it was a really fucked up masochistic desire for pain, that he actually enjoyed having his face mashed into the ground, that somehow he enjoyed the taste of dirt. InuYasha usually told that part of his mind to go fuck itself.

It was not long after that, that the scent of his troubles reached his nose. Kagome was back, it seemed. Starting to his feet, the pausing, the half demon glanced around. He didn't want it to seem like he was… waiting or anything, and even if he was by himself, images must be maintained. Or so he told himself. Besides, he was mad at the damned wench, she could carry her own damned bag.

Five seconds later, he was on his feet and moving, heading towards Kaede's village, to meet her there, he told himself. Touching down just on the outskirts, he folded his arms across his chest. The wind shifted to at his back, making him curse for a moment. Great, now he wouldn't know when she was going to get there. Glancing at Miroku who stood nearby, the Half-demon gave a keh, before settling down to wait.

It wasn't long before fast moving foot steps reached his ears, and an odd sight greeted his eyes. Kagome had her head down, staring at her feet, trying to run (though mostly failing), and her scent was… Terrified? Blinking, InuYasha was on his feet and taking a flying leap to land in front of the girl. Unfortunately for his timing, she had been throwing a glance over her shoulder at that time, and didn't see her sudden obstacle.

For the second time in a as many minutes, down went Kagome, monstrous backpack atop her. Maybe it was time she got something more… travel sized, she mused in a detached part of her mind, not fogged by fear. Though perhaps she could use it in the battle against demons, drop it on their foot or something and get InuYasha to Windscar their ass in the ensuing distraction.

InuYasha blinked at the girl, staring at the sight of random limbs stuck out and twitching beneath the bag, before bending and grabbing the bag in one clawed hand and lifting it off of her in one fluid motion. He was worried, the girls scent was still saturated with fear, and what sounded suspiciously like a sob had worked its way out of her throat. Setting the bag off to the side, InuYasha started to bend down towards the girl, before landing on his butt as said female launched herself at him to tangle her arms around his neck and bury her face in his neck.

"Oh, InuYasha! I was so scared! I thought I was going to die!" Kagome sobbed, clutching InuYasha's Haori in her hands. Blinking, the half-demon awkwardly wrapped his arms around her, looking down worriedly.

"What the hell has got you so scared, wench?" InuYasha finally asked.

"It was… Was this… Creepy old lady in the woods! She--" Kagome started, before being cut off by InuYasha.

"Was she a demon or something?"

"What? No, I don't think so… She--"

"What! You're terrified of an old bat? That's your problem?" InuYasha growled, eyes narrowing.

"But--" She tried to return.

"Damnit Wench! I thought it was something important!" While perhaps he was over reacting, but InuYasha had never reacted well to the scent of fear. Namely Kagome's fear. And to learn that her fear was entirely unfounded was both relieving and maddening. Thus his current hostility.

Releasing Kagome from his grasp, he pushed the girl away, lightly, so as not to harm her but simply remove her from his person. At Kagome's indignant intake of breath, the Half demon stood and turned away, muttering under his breath.

"God damned wench…. Scaring me… Frickin' over reacting… Screw this, I ain't gonna come running next time she's in trouble… Damnit…"

Leaving the still shaken girl to her own devices, InuYasha's rapidly receding back was the only thing seen as the half-demon entered the tree line, leaving the village and damned annoying wenches behind.

"…What was that all about, Miroku?"  
"….I'm not quite sure, Shippou."

It wasn't that he was completely unconcerned for the girl. It was more that he had more important things to worry about then Kagome freaking out over nothing. The more logical part of his mind that he tended to ignore (a lot) kept pointing out that Kagome was generally a level headed female, and didn't tend to be frightened to the level which her fear had escalated that often. When she was, generally speaking there was some justifiable reason behind it, IE, random demons or Naraku were in some way trying to cause her body harm or steal the jewel.

He was still checking it out. He wasn't that big of an ass (debatable).

Following the girls scent, InuYasha moved through the forest silently, senses at maximum, searching for anything out of place. Following Kagome's fear scent, he came to a spot in a small clearing where a scuff in the dirt and the sudden instigation of that overpowering fear scent let him know that this was the place where Kagome had no doubt encountered the woman who seemed to scare her so.

Casting about, the Half-demon crouched, nose to the ground and butt in the air in what was no doubt a humorous image-- providing he actually gave a crap-- as he cast about for a scent, but coming up short and confused. The only person he could smell was Kagome. And himself, and the Monk and Sango and the goddamned-pain-in-the-ass Runt. The latter scents were days old, only hanging around due to the lack of rain that had fallen in the area recently. No old creepy lady, no young creepy lady, no strangers. Sure, the scents of the villagers were scattered in every so often as well, but it was rare that they ventured into the forest beyond the need to hunt. But InuYasha had long ago memorized and cataloged their scents in his head, putting them in a file nicely labeled 'Stupid Harmless Annoying Humans.'

Standing from his position on the ground, he stood there for a moment, looking about him, searching but continually coming up short on explanations. Glancing around him, InuYasha turned in a full circle to come back to staring at the scuff thoughtfully. Damnit, why wasn't there a scent.

So distracted was InuYasha, that he nearly crapped himself when someone spoke behind him.

"Hello, young sir." Came a gravelly voice behind him.

InuYasha's reaction might have been comical if it hadn't been to yell "HOLY SHIT!", then turn with claws bared and striking out at whoev. er the hell was there.

Perhaps InuYasha should have wondered how an old human woman managed to _dodge_ his swipe, but he was more concerned with the fact of how the freaking hell did she sneak up on him. She didn't look that old, perhaps middle aged, rough around the edges, not old as Kagome had said, so it wasn't the woman she had seen.

"Now, now, is that any way to greet a stranger, young man?" The hag said.

InuYasha blinked, stepping backwards until he was a goodly distance away from her. His ears had perked towards her, nose wriggling in overdrive. He could scent her now, though he hadn't been able to a few moments ago. She smelled of dirt and weather and fresh air, as well as sweat and the slightly rank scent of one who hadn't seen or heard of a bath for a little while. InuYasha sometimes disliked humans for thinking that they didn't need to bathe at least like… once a week. Or something. He liked Kagome's insistence on bathing almost daily sometimes, as it influenced the others into bathing more often as well and saved his nose the trouble of them being somewhat ripe.

But now was not the time for such introspection.

"Who the hell are you, hag?" InuYasha demanded, displaying his usual manners towards strangers. The woman simply blinked at him slightly, tilting her head to one side, before speaking again.

"Well, youngling," InuYasha snorted. Him, at least 200 years old, being called a youngling by a human. The woman continued on undaunted. "I didn't mean to startle you or anything." Ha. He hadn't been startled. He did not _startle_. He had merely been… reacting like he did to most everything. With Violence.

"Keh." InuYasha replied, ready to ignore the woman and go back to looking for whatever the hell had scared Kagome so bad.

"Nice to meet you, ahh… What is your name, young man?" Again InuYasha snorted, glaring at the woman. Her brown eyes merely met his, didn't blink and InuYasha had to fight the urge to look away.

"What the hell does my name matter, hag?" He bit out finally, his tone carrying a bit of a growl.

"Well, you're a rude youngling, now aren't you?" InuYasha merely snorted at her.

"Whatever, Hag." He grumbled.

"None the less, I do mean to ask you a favor. Could you perhaps spare a bit of food, or perhaps take me to a place where I can get some?" She finally asked, the shrewd brown eyes watching him disconcertingly. InuYasha merely blinked at her for a moment a bit blankly, before snorting, and turning away, getting ready to turn away and continue looking.

"Hell no, hag. Get your own damn food, I'm busy." He growled, before actually turning away. He wanted to range about a bit, see if he scented anyone or anything. The woman in front of him he deemed unimportant, as she was obviously too young to be the one who had frightened Kagome.

."Well, that was uncalled for, I should say." The woman said, and InuYasha turned towards her, the sharp scent of ozone entering the air. Blinking as the woman seemed to grow a bit larger, InuYasha crouched warily, ready to attack very soon. If she was just getting ready to yell at him for his manners, ok then, he wouldn't attack. Kagome would have his ass for attacking an older human 'unprovoked' or whatever the hell she would call it. But if she did anything, anything, to get physical with him, he would send her packing with his fist.

"Now, you need to learn some manners, InuYasha." The old woman said, her eyes glowing with what InuYasha could only call glee.

"Screw you, bitch." InuYasha replied, before mentally backtracking the conversation. '…_learn some manners, **InuYasha.**_' she had said. How the…

"How the hell do you know my name, hag!" InuYasha was snarling now, the rumble in his chest getting louder as he crouched. Normally this scared the hell out of humans, but this one didn't seem entirely too phased. He didn't attack, there was a chance the woman knew his name from stories or something. How many more dog-eared half demons could there be with white hair and red robes, after all?

"That's not the important thing, InuYasha. What is important is that you learn some manners, and soon, what with calling women such names." She smiled now, the scent of ozone growing sharper in the air.

"What the hell are--" InuYasha began, but the woman cut him off.

"Now, what shall we do with you, Hmm? Perhaps take away your voice? Or maybe turn you into a beast? Poison you, maybe?" She started, gleefully tapping off on her fingers like she was counting. InuYasha snarled more, getting ready to turn away. Screw this, the woman was a crazy, he was getting out of here. Giving a grunt, he walked away.

Or he would have at least, if the woman hadn't held up a hand and said 'Stop!' Which he did, completely not of his own volition.

"What the hell?" InuYasha demanded, but was cut off when the woman made a gesture.

"No, I know what we shall do… You, InuYasha, will become the thing you have hurt the most." The woman nodded, and the scent of ozone sharpened even more, stinging his nose with its strength. The woman gestured again, right hand sliding partway up her sleeve, only to remove a skinny stick, which she brandished grandly.

"Now, hold still InuYasha. Until you can finally learn to be polite, this will be your lot in life, to be that which you have hurt the most!"

The next few seconds confused InuYasha. He couldn't move, couldn't yell, speak, no matter how much he struggled. A pressure was growing in his chest, as if someone had wrapped a steel band about him, which was gradually tightening, steadily. And then there was a bang which would have made him lay back his ears if he could move them, it was dark, rushing wind, the sensation of falling, before stopping abruptly, as if someone had tied a rope to him.

Disoriented, InuYasha took stock of his current situation. His senses were dulled, though not as bad as they would be when he was human, it was dark, dark where even he couldn't see. His body felt… weird. And why the hell could he taste fish?

* * *

**End A/N:** Yay. Done for now. Shouldn't be that much longer 'till I update again, as I have absolutely NO life. Yay for being boring!

(1)Me, being the immature pervert that I am, giggled like a mad woman when I typed that. Just so's…. y'all know, of course. -is such a dork-


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